Bump in the Night (1F)

Are You Afraid of the Dark? asked that TV show I watched after Goosebumps as a kid on YTV.  Well, the answer was yes, I was scared of the dark, thank you very much.  Today, that answer remains the same.

I hate staying up late.

I can’t believe this was a show for children.

I never stayed up late into the night until recently.  When I lived at home, I went to bed at ten because that’s when my parents went to bed.  The thought of being the only one awake in the whole house terrified me.  The distance between the TV room to my bed was too great, and if a murderer or the girl from The Ring decided to jump out from the dark, I’d be dead on the floor from panic before they would even get me with their knives or grimy little girl zombie fingers.

University gave me the opportunity to be the unproductive person up until two in the morning that I am today.  Why?  Because I can get from the light switch in my room to my bed with one giant Superman leap in the dark.

The dark makes uncomfortable.  It’s the breeding grounds for murderers and demons and spirits and every scary little girl from every scary movie on the face of the earth.  Turn the corner and boo, it’s the Ring girl and the Grudge lady and inthenameofthefatherthesonandtheholyspirit the girl from The Exorcist who – and I have never even seen The Exorcist – is so scary to me that I physically can’t look at a picture of her; she’s been the source of chronic nightmares since I was eight.  I know my fear of the dark is irrational, but once the lights are flicked off the scariest things my mind can conjure become manifestations in the shadows.

Mind you, I’m a very jumpy person.  I’m afraid of a lot of things.

Matt is afraid of:

• Snakes
• Clowns
• Murderers
• Loud noises
• Scar from The Lion King
• My basement
• Exorcisms
• Possessions
• American Horror Story
• Hauntings
• Poltergeists
• Nerdy girls who are the laughing stock of their high schools and are then humiliated at their high school proms by the popular kids who dump blood on her until she snaps and kills everyone with her telekinesis

Deep down, though, there’s a part of me that likes to be scared.  I willingly pay money to see horror movies in theaters because I like thrill.

I’m terrified of the unknown.

This is generally my reaction to horror movies, only I’m usually delirious from weeping.

What scares me most: the fear of the unknown, and of possibility.  The Blair Witch Project was downright terrifying to me because you never once see what’s chasing them for the entire movie, and you’re left to decide for yourself what it was that makes them scream in terror and eventually die.  What did I think it was?  The girl from The Exorcist, so you can only imagine that that made my viewing experience much worse.

The dark robs me of my most fundamental sense: sight.  And with my sight goes my security.  And with my lack of security comes my overactive imagination.  And in the dark, I rue my overactive imagination.  Creak!  Was it just the old house shifting, or is Jason Voorhees here for my head?  Scratch!  Branches at the window, or Freddy Krueger, so wake up wake up wake up!

To compensate for my lack of security, I take ridiculous measures.  For instance, at this very moment, I have the dead bolt on the door, the blinds drawn on the windows, the lights off but my lamp on, and I’m tucked under my covers clutching my teddy bear.  But open the bedroom door, flick off the lamp, or pull the covers down from over my head – darkness.  It’s inescapable.

What scares you?

• Afraid of the dark
• Scaredy cat
• Scary movies